Phototag

The challenge is:

Go to your photos folder in your computer.
Go to the 6th folder of photos.
Go to the 6th picture in that folder.
Put the picture on your blog and description of it.
Invite six friends to join the challenge.
Link them in your blog and let them know they have been challenged


i think this photo dated back in 2006. fahmi wore the jubah that nenek brought back from Mekah for him. dia masih lagi tembam masa ni. yang lucunya dah elok2 berjubah tapi berposing atas meja... haru.

"...invite six friends to join the challenge..." part ni yang susah coz mesti ramai yang dah dapat tag ni... anyway rules tetap rules. silakan jangan malu2:

shida
faisal
nad
lemongrass
ninarizwina
liza

When He Came Back Crying

baru je last week cerita pasal fahmi settle down kat his new school. pagi tadi i pay another visit to the school (actually memang tiap2 hari pun pergi coz hantar fahmi)this time around i seek for his class teacher to discuss pasal fahmi. sayangnya his class teacher, shamini takde tapi nasib another teacher, sherry sudi dengar keluhan aku.

bukan keluhan apa. malam tadi seperti biasa aku akan spend time tanya fahmi how's his new school and tanya jugak pasal apa yang dia belajar, about his classmates and teacher. terkejut aku malam tadi sebab bila tanya hal sekolah tiba2 fahmi pasang muka monyok sampai tahap mencebik2 nak nangis gitu. aikkk pelik. belum pernah sepanjang sejarah fahmi bersekolah dia tarik muka monyok or menangis. he's been to tumble tots when he was 3, followed by smart reader at 4, then to little caliph early this year. despite kes dia jatuh dan luka takde satu pun yang menyebabkan dia monyok or menangis. except this time around. he asked me if he can go to other school sebab dia rasa tak seronok kat sekolah baru ni.

i spend almost 1/2 hour malam tadi memujuk dia bagitau apa masalah dia kat school. he keep on saying 'tak tahu' je manjang. i tried to feed some answer but he confirm none. bila tanya teacher marah, dia kata tak, bila tanya ada orang usik ke pun dia kata tak. then i asked him apa nama kawan dia, dia jawab tak tahu. i'm a bit puzzled there sebab dia selalunya cepat dapat nama kawan. bila tanya nama teacher pun dia tak tau. i suspected that kemungkinan it is due to the fact that he haven't made any new friends pasal tu dia tak tau nama kawan. dan pasal nama teacher pula, aku suspect because dia tak berminat masa kat sekolah that's why dia tak bother pasal nama teacher.

you see, with my boy the fastest way for me to know or guess if there's something wrong kat sekolah is by asking this 2 question yang i mention above. dan ternyatalah betul telahan aku. coz after 1/2 hour he finally open up and told me that dia sebenarnya takde kawan because it seems like semua orang dah ada kawan dan nobody nak berkawan dengan dia. he told me that he cry at school hampir setiap hari sejak last week. and i thought that it was only that once!

he feels rejected by his peers at school. there's even one time when the indian boy yang duduk sebelah dia suruh dia ke tepi. he told me bila budak tu cakap macam tu dia terus rasa nak menangis and he spent his morning break at school crying at one corner and refused to eat. it is so unlike fahmi. i didn't know that he would ever feel rejected, i didn't expect that shifting to a new school akan buat dia rasa insecure. masa kat smart reader dulu he started much much later tapi masa boleh adapt. that's why i didn't expect there'd be any problem at all. by the time he finished bercerita, muka dia basah berjeruk2 dengan air mata.

i decided that i have to have a word with the teacher. you see bukannya aku nak manjakan anak aku, but i feel that it is my responsibility that whenever i leave him in a place he'd feel safe. kalau tak, then i've failed. bukan nak manjakan dia but i want him to like going to school. kalau sampai tahap dia tak nak pergi sekolah then i have to do something about it kan?

so, i ask the teacher to help out; not to give extra attention coz i don't want him dimanjakan but i asked the teacher to help break the ice, tolong get him to mix around, make some friends so that he wouldn't feel rejected. coz dia kata dia bila kawan2 keluar dari kelas semua orang ada kawan dan tinggal dia seorang dalam kelas. oh man... ada juga rasa nak jerit kat fahmi coz rasa malu when he acted sissy about it. it is soo not like him!

i'm grateful that the teacher and principal ambil berat. teacher sherry kata semalam dia memang dah mula bagi extra attention kat fahmi. i told her jangan, i don't want him jadi burden pulak, all you have to do is help him to make friends. other than that dia takde masalah dalam pembelajaran.

pheww! ni baru anak lelaki... all this while i have so much confidence in him and i was so worried about yaya. it turns out the other way round this time.

Our Simple Weekend

we started the day with a family outing to taman jaya. it was still early but surprisingly the parking area was full. yaya commented that it was perhaps due to the fact that we were late so everyone else had taken the parking area. in actual fact we were not late, we reached there much much earlier than we used to sebab pagi ni kami bangun awal. selalunya dah pukul 11am baru kami sampai ke taman jaya, but this time around we were like an hour early. so we figured out that it was due to the fact that memang kebiasaannya taman jaya packed di awal pagi sebab orang datang bersenam awal unlike us yang masih dibuai mimpi dalam selimut.

the best thing about today's outing to taman jaya is the fact that fahmi & yaya dapat tengok muka 'chua' & 'tanusha' (the two character in the famous Geng Bas Sekolah series). they happened to have a shooting for a tv program kat taman jaya pagi tadi. both fahmi & yaya just couldn't believe it bila aku bagitau diaorang memang itu chua & tanusha in real life they're looking at. both of them are an avid fan of GBS sampaikan kekadang malam pun kami terpaksa wrestle the remote away from them coz the repeatedly watch GBS. mana boleh tahan macam ni ;-P

i think the outing was doing its best to both fahmi & yaya. let them sweat & feel the sun and let loose. takdelah memerap je dalam rumah macam mama & daddy dia yang lebih suka berhibernasi je dihujung minggu sebab dah penat bekerja kan. kalau nak ikutkan tabiat kami berdua yang duk memerap je dalam rumah kesian pulak budak berdua ni dunia diaorang tak berkembang. since we went out early dapatlah kami balik semula ke rumah awal. jadinya sempatlah aku buat nasi dagang for lunch today. tau jelah kan proses mengukus nasi dagang ambil masa agak panjang, sampai hubby dah menjerit2 lapar.

baki pulut buat nasi dagang tu aku kukus. memula tak tau nak buat apa, akhirnya datang idea nak cuba buat pulut seri muka. bereksperimen dengan resipi orang, menjadi juga. hubby sukalah sebab bahagian kepala (hijau) tu tak manis sangat. kalau ikut aku itu belum cukup manis... takpe next time tambah gula lebih sikit hehehe.



sebab tengahari dah lunch heavy (with nasi/pulut & gulai ikan tongkol bersantan) makanya for dinner aku sediakan salmon sandwich with croissant bun aja. aduhh sedapnya croissant bun yang wangi ni... beli siap kat bakery je, senang :-)

Fahmi's New School

fahmi has settled in his new school. today he collected his second uniform, so now he has 2 uniform which can be worn alternately. insyaAllah bila mama ada duit lebih nanti i'd buy him another pair so that takdelah selang dua hari pakai yang sama. we haven't bought him his sports attire though, maybe we could just get him sehelai t-shirt putih with red track bottom. but where to find a pair of red track bottom? it is not a common colour for track bottom. for those who wonder why red let me just tell you that his new school's theme colour is red & white sebab sekolah tu nama dia tadika strawberry so mestilah red kan mana ada strawberry yang biru or kuning.

his new uniform is a three piece suit - white shirt with a mini-tie, red jacket & red shorts (i'll upload the pic later). smart but the only thing yang aku tak berkenan ialah shorts dia tu, it is a short shorts! i think what i'm going to do is i'm going to buy kain ela kaler merah and ask my mum to jahit sepasang seluar panjang. sopan skit kan coz zaman sekarang even budak darjah satu pun dah tak pakai shorts unlike zaman aku sekolah dulu.

i met his english teacher today, dr suhaimi who is also the principal. he told me that fahmi berani bersuara kat sekolah jadi senang nak teach him. alhamdulillah his statement consistent dengan statement teacher smart reader fahmi dulu.

the fact that his new school is within close proximity with my house membolehkan aku drop him to school every morning. nasib baik juga coz his school begins at 8.30, dan aku selalu keluar pergi keje jam 8pagi. jadi on the way tu singgah kejap hantar dia. i really enjoy sending him off to school, this is what i'd like and imagined to do sejak dulu. rasa seronok sangat dapat hantar dia, rasa kepuasan yang susah nak digambarkan. puas sebab dapat buat what i consider as much as my responsibility and also as a privileges of being a mother. i couldn't fetch him from school afterwards though sebab his school ends at 11.30am. luckily the teacher is willing to drop him at home... with a small fee.tapi masa first day kat sekolah fahmi kata dia menangis sebab teacher lambat hantar dia balik. huhu... first time.

Moving Backwards ... and forward

5 months ago i did wrote an entry about me moving out to my new office (room) but i never posted it. and no despite all my rantings pasal keje i did not (at least not yet) move out as in tukar kerja.i am still with the same employer, work with the same company i've worked for the past 7 years. it is just that on the day i celebrated my 30th birthday last year i had moved out from my old office at top floor which i shared with my no.1 boss and his secretary. kiranya aku ni menumpang kat situ. pertama sebab pada masa tu takde bilik kosong dan kedua aku masih lagi dalam transition period; men'transfer' my knowledge kepada my boss's new secretary when i was promoted to my current position. the transition period somehow took longer (more than 1 year) bukan sebab secretary baru tak bagus, she's good at times i even feel that she's doing better than i was. but deep down aku realised it was my boss yang keberatan nak lepaskan aku pergi... the fact that i was his longest serving (read surviving secretary).

ok let's get back on track. so about 5 months ago i moved out from my boss's office in to this shoebox sized room (okay i exaggerate) which was painted blue all over by the previous occupant. i still remember how sad and mellow i felt that day, Allah swt sahaja yang tahu. while others in the company probably has shifted place more than 2 times, aku tak pernah been shifted ke mana2. akulah 'penunggu' setia bilik itu. banyak memori pahit kat situ tapi semua aku telan dan aku simpan, pun begitu bila melangkah keluar terasa berat dan sesak jap dada aku. aku sedih, sedih yang tak dapat nak digambarkan. terasa macam orang terbuang... but it wasn't like that sebenarnya. aku ter'over' sensitif i guess.

walaupun sedih, tapi ada sedikit rasa lega sebab after more than a year co-habiting the same office when i'm no longer his secretary somehow aku rasa kurang selesa, seolah2 macam orang ketiga pulak kat situ. kadang2 aku jadi rasa segan pulak terutama bila aku tau banyak benda2 yang confidential tak sepatut aku tau, tapi sebab dah co-habiting the same office nak tak nak sayup2 tertangkap kat telinga aku.

in the early days i moved out ke this blue room on the ground level aku betul2 rasa disoriented kejap. it took me a while juga nak biasakan diri dengan suasana baru. first, i find the lighting dalam bilik ni agak glaring, the glass window was not shielded with blinds - aku boleh nampak semua orang kat luar and they can see me, takde privacy langsung! tau jelah orang perempuan kekadang nak betulkan tudung nak touch up lipstick... seganlah pulak. then came the noises from outside this room - masyaAllah macam pasar! i used to get a feedback the staff kat floor ni kata sejak aku turun pindah ke bawah diaorang asyik kena marah pasal bising. seriously they are so loud! i couldn't concentrate on my work. and the worst of all adalah kerusi dan meja kerja aku ni height dia tak compatible. kiranya bila aku nak guna keyboard my hands tak rested well atas meja menyebabkan pergelangan tangan, bahu kanan dah belakang badan aku sakit. dah dekat 2 bulan lebih aku menderita sakit bahu & belakang.

tapi lama kelamaan aku dah terbiasa. cahaya lampu tu tak lagi terlalu terang, i don't mind peple peek into my room from outside because there's no blinds/curtain, at the same time i learn to enjoy the wider view and easy for me to monitor movements, and the noise... it doesn't bother me anymore in fact kalau senyap sunyi aku pulak yang jadi risau. and my back, wrist and shoulder dah kurang sakitnya sebab aku alihkan kedudukan pc & keyboard betul2 ke tengah meja... nampak pelik though tapi for my own good.

until today, bila tiba2 aku dapat arahan berpindah semula ke bilik lama which is my boss's office. kalau dulu aku berat hati nak tinggalkan all the priviligese that comes with cohabiting office no.1... hari ni aku keberatan nak masuk semula. because i feel that the relocation was for all the wrong reasons. malas nak cakap pasal ni tapi kali ni rasa hurt tu lain daripada perasaan mula2 kena pindah keluar. this time it is hurt like really hurting me, my pride and my feelings. rasa macam bola pun ada. kesimpulan yang aku buat ialah he's not ready to let me go, not ready to give me independence, not ready to respect me the way anybody in my position should be respected. then why? why in the first place did you give me this opportunity??? rasa macam bola.

on the other hand, fahmi will start at his new school tomorrow. i've visited the school today, spent about an hour to look around but not thoroughly, observe their teachings. this one looks like a real school, like the one i went to masa zaman tabika kemas ku dulu. looks more convincing and they've been around like more than 10years since taman perumahan ni mula dibuka dulu. i sincerely hope that the school is good.

Air Oh Air...

kesian budak berdua tu hari ni tak dapat nasi for lunch. semuanya gara2 kawasan perumahan kami ni putus bekalan air. inilah kejadian yang paling teruk pernah aku alami sepanjang 7 tahun tinggal kat sini. belum pernah lagi kami terputus bekalan air sampai kering tangki setitik pun takde. jammed kepala hotak aku.

bayangkan pagi tadi masa aku tengah syok menyabun badan, bila nak bilas aku buka paip tengok air yang keluar halus sesangat! tak sempat nak bilas badan... gatal kepala aku kejap fikir mana nak cari air. sib dalam bilik air ada berbaki 1 botol lagi air spare. aku tuangkan secukupnya je sekadar untuk bilas badan. aduhh potong stim betul!

memang kami tau malam tadi lagi air dah start berhenti. cuma selalunya dalam tangki tu cukup untuk 1 whole day. tak sangka kali ni habis terus seawal pagi tadi. ni pun gara2 fahmi juga kot coz dia terkucil 2 kali tengah malam tadi, sesuatu yang tak pernah berlaku sejak dia berhenti pakai diapers malam lebih setahun lepas. agaknya habis simpanan air dalam tangki gara2 2 kali bangun bersihkan baju & selimut dia yang terkena urine. harap2 fahmi tak mad at mama coz mention pasal ni dalam blog. he told kakak jangan bagitau orang coz dia malu. nak kata sejuk sangat malam tadi tak juga, panas adalah. sejak seminggu ni kan cuaca kering jer pasang aircon pun masih terasa humid. it will get worse come april nanti.

ow back to the kids' lunch. tengahari tadi dek kerana takde air setitik pun, tak dapatlah kakak nak masak nasi & lauk. fahmi insist nak mandi pagi tadi walhal aku pesan lap2 badan je, simpan air dalam botol tu untuk emergency. satu pagi aku dilanda risau memikirkan anak2 kat rumah. masa lunch break tadi aku minta pantry boy isikan air dalam 3 biji tong kecil & angkut bawa balik rumah. sib baik rumah dengan ofis dekat. on the way tu sempat singgah beli nasi 3 bungkus & lauk pauk sikit. dapat juga anak2 aku makan for dinner petang nanti. untuk lunch memang dah tak sempat, kakak gorengkan burger aja untuk budak berdua tu which according to her, fahmi hentam 1 biji setengah!

harap2 lain kali puspel kalau nak betulkan paip pecah ke bagilah notis awal2. kalau malas nak bagi notis pandai2lah sediakan lori bawa bekalan air ye. main mengejut cenggini selalu letih!

Kek Lagi

masa buat sponge cake untuk birthday my niece tempohari ada lebihan bancuhan kek. aku tuangkan dalam smaller cake tin dan bakar. ingatkan nak simpan je untuk yaya & fahmi makan petang. tapi mengenangkan dalam fridge ada filing perisa lemon dan krimwell masih berbaki, maka hari ni lepas balik dari ziarah hubby's friend dapat baby baru aku pun mulakan operasi membuat krim. vanila sponge cake tu aku belah dua dan lapiskan dengan krim, lemon filing dan cebisan buah oren. asalnya aku ingatkan dalam fridge ada filing orange tu yang aku beli buah oren, rupa2nya filing lemon... takpelah bantai aja untuk makan sendiri apa salahnya kan? harap2 bila buat macam ni cepat sikit habis kek sponge tu... tapi kalau tak habis pun aku dah plan nak hancurkan buat chocolate ball macam yang LG ajar.





pagi tadi we took the kids ke taman jaya lagi. aku surprised tengok yaya yang sekejap je berubah jadi berani compared to our first visit last 2 weeks - she was meek and clingy. kali ni i just let her loose and she was like climbing almost every single permainan yang ada kat situ. even fahmi was not as adventurous as her. agaknya kepenatan bermain pagi tadi sampai tengahari, sekarang ni dia masih terlena lagi. ;-)