Dream

I had this strange dream about a long lost room mate masa kat uni dulu. She’s a year younger than me but we graduated on the same year – the course that I took was solely for entry with STPM or working experience whereas hers straight from matriculation. We did keep in touch, very briefly after graduated – I invited her to my wedding, which she didn’t managed to attend, she invited me to her wedding which I didn’t get to attend. Lepas tu terus lost contact. Thought about her over the years that passed, I even googled her name on the internet manalah tau dia ada facebook ke, walaupun I don’t have one. Tapi tidaklah aku become obsessed with the thought of her.

Until I get this dream last night. Aku mimpi dia dating menziarah aku, stay over the night kat rumah. She came alone. We talked, catching up on things that went through in each others life, we were happy to have found each other again. But she was alone. My curiosity gets the better of me so I asked her about her husband. In real life I am curious about the man she married. I never get a chance to ask her if she is marrying/married to the same guy sekampung dengannya who was her senior at school or is it another guy because I still remember she did once told me that their relationship was on the rocky road – family intervention. I wanted to know. She seems happy sepanjang berborak tu, I guess her married life is a happy one too, but never once did she speak about the husband or children. The minute I asked her about her husband and children, she broke down. Aku tergamam. She told me that her husband had left her because dia tak dapat bagi zuriat. It’s not that she is barren or what, tapi dia tak boleh carry full term, she had had a couple of miscarriages over the past years. I consoled her while at the same time I couldn’t hide my fury towards her husband. What is it with men.

The dream felt so real, aku rasa aku betul2 dapat peluk dan bercakap dengan dia. Bila bangun tidur pun aku agak terpinga2, tercari2 mana dia kawanku tadi. Terus aku terkenangkan keadaan dia. I have to find her. Harap2 life dia tak seteruk yang aku mimpikan. Ah that was just a dream. But I had dreams yang felt so real macam mimpi malam tadi. Aku selalu anggap setiap mimpi tu ada makna. Maybe she is looking for me too. Like the dream that I had about my demise brother in law few days before aku buat housewarming last month. In my dream he came back to my mom’s house nak jenguk anak tunggal dia. The dream felt so real aku rasa nak menangis tengok dia peluk anak dia. Aku cakap kat diri sendiri agaknya kita yang hidup ni dah terlupa nak mengingat atau bersedekah pada orang yang dah pergi pasal tu lah aku termimpikan dia. Bukannya aku percaya pada benda2 karut marut, tapi aku lebih suka beranggapan mimpi yang felt so real ni kadang nak mengingatkan kita pada sesuatu yang kita dah terlupa. Oh btw, aku tidur siap basuh kaki & baca surah 3 kul pendinding diri siap sapu ke seluruh badan dari kepala sampai kaki, tak pernah tidur tak baca doa tidur or tidur koboi.