Simple Friday Night

hubby got back from work early today. thus the children skipped their dinner sebab asyik berkepit dengan daddy. malamnya they all kelaparan. i cooked stir-fry blackpepper beef kegemaran hubby for dinner which the children bukannya makan pun; well truth is i'm the one yang tak galakkan budak2 ni makan daging. so since there's nothing on the table for them, i made egg banjo each. sebut jer egg memang melompat sukalah budak berdua tu... well selalu sangat makan egg pun tak bagus, but i made an exception this time. fahmi would be happy with strawberry sandwich tapi jem straberry yang kubuat pun dah habis the day before. so egg banjo it is.

Rindu...

lama tak posting entry... been busy actually. my mind is too occupied tak sempat nak blogging. this week balik kerja tiap2 hari mesti rasa rindu yang meluap2 kat anak2. kenapa ntah? padahal minggu2 lain pun pi kerja jugak. maybe sebab this week my time at the office memang betul2 being occupied with work sampai tak sempat nak teringat kat anak2, tu yang bila habis kerja jer terus membuak2 rasa rindu kat anak2. anak je? sian hubby... hehe rindu kat darling sekali.
or mungkin jugak sebab kutahu lepas2 ni mesti ku jadi lebih sibuk daripada hari2 sebelumnya dengan tugasan baru... mencabar betul assignment ni, entah berapa banyak dah panadol aku telan. pastu tentu lagi kurang masa nak teringat2 kat anak. yelah before this walau sibuk sempat gak curi2 masa layan terbayang muka fahmi & yaya masa kat ofis, lepas ni tak sempat dah nak melayan perasaan... nak makan & pi ladies pun tak senang. dari pagi sampai ke petang meeting. hari ni je takde meeting dalam schedule... hee anak2 buah pun wat keje dengan tenang kot sebab aku tak turun menjenguk seharian terperap dalam bilik. today jelah dapat sambung buat paperwork, baca paperwork, check paperwork. but that's what you are paid to do at work kan? to do your work bukan untuk ingat2 hal personal. ehhh mana ada ibu yang tak ingat anak?

tapi sebab ku jenis manusia yang memang tak boleh & tak menjadi buat kerja kalau asyik ingat anak pasal tu takde simpan gambar anak or hubby kat ofis. orang lain ada juga tempek wallpaper gambar anak2, hubby or pakwe kat skrin pc ke handphone ke... tapi aku tak. ada gak rasa jealous tengok orang buat camtu... tapi ku tak bolehhhh... nanti sure tak leh buat kejeeee!!!
agaknya pasal tu juga bila dah petang2 mula lah merembat bawa kereta macam pelesit tak sabar nak sampai rumah.

sibuk2 pun kat ofis tak sempat makan, minum kat umah makan & masak jugak. sebab takut today balik lewat malam tadi before tidur dah siap menggulai ikan tongkol untuk dinner malam ni. how advance, kan? nasib balik awal, maid panaskan lauk, before maghrib ku ajak hubby makan. dapat gulai ikan tongkol berselera betul!

Go Italian

hubby baru balik from outstation so masak special lah skit. hehe macam lah special sangat buat pizza tapi coz yang ini air tangan sendiri so kira special lah ye. lagipun coz we get to decide apa topping yang kita suka and boleh letak sebanyak mana yang suka with no extra charge! ;-)

sebab buat sendiri so campaklah grated cheese bertimbun-timbun macam bukit sampai tak nampak topping lain... hehe ni hubby punya kerja.

ni khas untuk incik pairzal yang suka kata aku masak makanan omputih jer. sapa cakap? ni aku buat pizza 'orang melayu' khas untuk 'tatapan' ko. topping dia letak sardin & eggplant. in fact kalau nak kasik lagi kuat aura melayu, sos tomato tu boleh ganti dengan sambal belacan! sure resdung, beb!!!

pizza east meets west. jangan salahkan aku kalau ko tak jumpa carik eggplant a.k.a terung tu. cheese hangus dah dominate pizza aku hehe

cooking can be a real fun bila anak-beranak gotong royong siapkan pizza nih... heheh

Up & About

yesterday's blood test

yaya passed her final blood test with flying colours. seems that her platelet counts picking up very fast since the last one on sunday. though throughout the 3 days ordeal the doctors keep on telling us that nothing much can be done to help boost her platelet count, i don't think any parents would be able to just sit and wait, especially when your child's life is at stake. ni yang kekadang rasa frust consult doctor. at least tell us lah yang protein is a good/reliable source to help build antibodi ke kan? well, anyway it's over now. syukur alhamdulillah.

my prayer goes to few of my colleagues whom wife & children & self were admitted since last monday for fear of dengue while one heavily pregnant mom due to deliver anytime confirmed infected by dengue.

on another note, my kitchen is back in operation sebab no. 1 yaya dah sihat and no. 2 hubby dah balik from his outstation trip petang tadi. apapun semalam oven dah mula membakar the best ever brownie made of rice flour! i thought rice flour is used to coat banana fritters jer. actually this is a special recipe sesuai untuk orang yang alah pada gluten. tak sempat nak snap pics coz hubby sudah kidnap camera bawa pegi outstation so i'll just pinjam paste pic ni. the brownie that i made last night looks exactly like this... harap maaf pinjam pic... credit goes to taste.com

1/2 cup rice flour
1/2 cup gluten free flour
150g melted butter
1 1/4 cup caster sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/4 tsp baking powder
2 eggs, lightly beaten

... is all you need to make this brownie. i made it a little bit different, i topped the brownie with chocolate chips that melted in the oven. 15mins to prepare & 20-25mins to bake. now everyone can bake. no regrets, seriously.

Quite House

yeah i know, my 'house' was damn quite this whole week. no new entry. as if there's nothing to blog about. which is so not true.
there is a reason why i have been so quite. and si kecil molek yaya is the reason. i'm so exhausted i don't know where to start; so let me fill the blank spaces in my blog with the chronology of events.

Saturday & Sunday (19 & 20 Apr)
she was double hyper active that she hardly took her afternoon nap, eat & drink less water. with farah araound budak2 ni sampai pukul 12am pun masih melompat! Sunday night kami hantar farah balik ke kuarters at klia. on the way back yaya nak duduk atas mama kat seat depan but i said no. the night before she threw up atas me lepas makan kat mcD kota damansara. she was eating and jumping at the same time, she also got her head knock kat bucu slide. i'm not sure which one yang menyebabkan dia muntah. anyway, on the way back from klia i noticed that she seems a bit tired and terus tertidur dalam kereta. which was a blessing sebab dah 2 malam budak2 ni tidur lewat.

malam tu seperti biasa tengah2 malam she creep in to our bed and menyelit between me & hubby. masa tu terasa her body burning sampai my skin hurts when she touched me. but, i was too groggy in my sleep it didn't struck me as something is not right with her until morning.

Monday (21 Apr)
i took her to the clinic, get her examine by the doctor, her temperature was 38.9C. after collected her prescriptions, i send her back home. i had two important meeting that day, so does hubby. have no choice but to leave her with our maid, with strict instructions. i came back that night, her temperature had lower down but still hot. bibir dia merah which means dia panas kat dalam. i told her to drink plenty of water, which she did and wet our bed that night.
our maid told us that yaya was complaining about headache siang tu. and tengah malam isnin tu, i found her hitting her head between weeps. when i ask her why, she told me it's her head. i coerce her to describe how she felt about her head coz i want to know excatly how she is feeling. it would be easy for me to feed words in to her mouth but would that be right? i asked her did the ache go away when she closes her eyes, she said yes. so i told her to close her eyes and go back to sleep, it would help. later tengah malam tu, she woke up again hitting her stomach. now she had stomach ache, agaknya memulas kot. so i rub some yuyee oil and put a wet towel on her stomach. the oil to help put away her ache and wet towel just to calm her down.

Tuesday (22 Apr)
i decided to take the day off. i was worried about her headache. takut2 ada apa2 effect from the incident dia terhantuk kat slide malam sabtu lepas. dalam hati i prayed hard that it was more due to the heat. kesian dia kecik2 dah pening kepala.

Wednesday (23 Apr)
she was her normal self again. dah mula memanjat2 macam 'bobo' dalam kartun diego tu... sapa yang tengok go diego go! taulah apa itu 'bobo' ;-)

Thursday (24 Apr)
walaupun dalam hati masih risaukan yaya but i have to stop thinking about her at work. coz if i keep on thinking pasal anak2 ni memang semua kerja tak menjadi, pasal tu kalau terlampau risau sangat i'd rather took 1 or 2 days off jaga sendiri daripada risau setiap hari kat ofis. our maid assured me that yaya is okay; eating well, minum air banyak & masih continue ubat demam.

Friday (25 Apr)
going back home during friday break has become my routine for a long long time. bila sampai je depan muka pintu rasa pelik sangat tengok muka yaya macam comot2 gitu. bila di belek2 muka, tangan & badan nampak samar2 bintik2 merah kat badan dia. our maid kata mungkin measles kot, tapi hati kecilku kata takkan kot! balik kerja malam tu me & hubby brought her to the nearest clinic. the doctor said itu bukan measles sebab budak2 ni dah ambil vaccination masa kecik. we were advised to get her blood tested for confirmation.
so we went straight from the clinic to the ER at SJMC. ramailah pulak orang semua bawa anak2 demam. kesian... rasa macam pelik pulak coz our little girl dah tak demam.
penat & bosan menunggu result blood test lebih2 lagi dengan dua orang anak yang hyper ni. her result came at almost 12 midnite. her platlet count was to low beyond the minimum level for a children of her age. we were asked to cameback the next day.

Saturday (26 Apr)
yaya tidur nyenyak sampai tak boleh bangun. well, me & hubby pun lebih kurang gitulah. we noticed that her rashes makin banyak & it started to itch. we put calamine all over her body. while getting her ready to sjmc hubby sent fahmi to his class.
yaya kurang berselera makan & dia asyik tertidur je sepanjang masa, macam keletihan sangat. senyum pun tidak. yang merisaukanku is that badan dia terutama dahi & hujung jari rasa sejuk sangat. yaya ni dalam keadaan biasa badan dia mamang agak warm sikit compared to fahmi, memang sejak kecil macam tu. so bila tetiba rasa sejuk tak warm jadi risau pulak.
her blood test shows that her platlet count makin jatuh, sikit lagi nak masuk paras bahaya. we were asked to repeat the test next day. doctor said they are not worried so much pasal dengue coz dengue & viral infection punya simptom lebih kurang sama. buat masa ni they cannot confirm anything. just that kalau platlet dia drop lagi dia akan mula dapat pendarahan. so we have to keep an eye kalau gusi dia berdarah ke.
tiba2 ku rasa terdesak untuk buat sesuatu, just to get her platlet normal again. but what? i don't know anything about it. dah terlampau lama sangat since the last time yaya jatuh sakit teruk, macam beku jer otak ni.
i need to get her to eat & drink plenty of water. i cooked grilled salmon for dinner, she ate a lot; rasa lega. tapi after dinner dia terus tertidur; i got worried again.
i need to do something. so kami keluar pergi cari air kelapa. yeah i know the pros and cons yang orang cakap pasal air kelapa, but i desperately want my baby to get well.

Sunday (27 Apr)
the result was no difference from yesterday's. sama jer, static. but the doctor was very optimist that it will pick up from now. her rashes pun dah makin kurang. and the best part is that yaya dah mula marah2! that's a good sign ;-) petang ni more good sign shows. dia dah mula bergaduh dengan fahmi. my heart swell. fahmi pun nampak happy sebab kawan bermain dia dah sihat.
fahmi shows concern about his sister's well-being. malam bila nak tidur dia selimutkan adik dia. and he gets pissed off with the doctor yang cucuk jari yaya ambil darah. from time to time masa yaya tertidur he dropped a few kisses on yaya's cheek & forehead. and he said he loves yaya forever.

walaupun penat this whole week; penat berkejar ke hospital & penat melayan risau but the best part is that yaya tak perlu masuk ward. i don't really like the idea of getting her admitted selagi masih ada cara lain i.e. as long as we can still provide the best care to her at home.

pheww!!! that's it. i've summarised 1 week's entry dalam 1 entry sahaja. how am i doing so far?

note: thank you to nad for your well wishes.

Cuppies

i tried my hands at cuppies and it turns out not bad. the icing is too sweet though, i'll take note on reducing icing sugar next time. the kids have fun decorating the cuppies to their preference and creativity.

Special Dedication

this is a special entry dedicated to my beloved niece. she hit 7 today. her birthday was celebrated in advance together with yaya's recently. i made this entry because she is particularly special to me and because of something that she wrote on yaya's handmade birthday card touched my heart and emotion.

she was named farah alya - most highest joy (or something like that) because her arrival this day 7 years ago into the family was anticipated with so much pride and joy by her parents, first time grandparents, aunt & uncles. she was our sun & moon, our intan payung since her birth until today. even after we (me & my bro) have children of our own flesh & blood, the special place that she claimed in our heart would always remain hers and will always be a special daughter to all of us. in my heart she will always remain as my 'first' baby.

like her namesake (most highest joy) she was the centre & source of our happiness for a long long time since her birth. she is so special because despite not knowing her father whom passed away when she was only 7 months old, the father figure was quickly replaced my her grandpa & her uncles; who despite having no experience playing a father figure and despite their immaturity (they were both young) quickly matured into responsible young men. the day she lost her papa she acquired 3 papa instantly. she was left with only her mama but at the same time she claimed an aunt as her 'mummy' (a title that she gave to me) who is ever willing to accept her as her own flesh & blood.

she spent her first 4 years of childhood in my parents place, where my mum & myself alternatively played a mother figure to her in my sister's absence (she lived 35mins away from mum's place). until my sister re-married. along with a 'babah' she also acquired a stepsister & a stepbrother. i witnessed her difficulty to adapt to the new situation; having never experience what a true nucleus family like. the siblings rivalry and having to accept the fact that she has to share her mama with 2 other siblings; it was a difficult time coz she had been the only child for a long time. a 'babah' that she could not quite connected to. it during the early days, my father and brothers would always engaged in what i refer to as 'snatch & run' thing. having getting used to have farah around in the household (read, pampering her ke tahap princess!), i guess my father & brothers somewhat missed their special girl so much that sometimes they would find their ways to bring farah back to mum's place. it hurts for them to see her trying hard to fit into the newly formed family. they have to get used to the new situation, and alhamdulillah they did 'cool down' sometime after that and after witnessing that farah finally happily settled in the new environment. she's happy now that she have friends to play with. and we are happy for her if she is happy.

until recently when she made a special birthday card for yaya. i'm so touched by what she wrote in the card. she is baring her feelings to my 3 year old daugther who is too young to understand her loneliness. the instant siblings that she acquired, stayed on for 2 years only. they were taken away by their grandparents. just imagine she just started to get used having siblings but out of sudden they were snatched away. it was so abrupt. farah is now left with her baby sister & brother who are too small & too young to play with her. i felt angry with whoever did this, how could they put their personal interest above these children's feelings. obviously she missess her step siblings, and they missed her too. and my maternal instinct just couldn't let me be a bystander. that is why hubby is fetching her tonight to stay with us for the weekend.