1 Ramadhan 1430H

the kids mula berpuasa hari ini. sengaja kukejutkan mereka bangun sahur lewat sedikit. lagipun budak berdua masih dalam proses latihan, so bagi kelonggaran sikit biar perlahan2 mereka dapat sesuaikan diri. sahur mereka ialah jam 7 pagi tadi. this will be the 2nd time for fahmi & the first time for yaya. they had nasi goreng sardin dan sekeping wafer coklat each.

badan fahmi agak suam2 panas. petanda awal dia nak demam. sambil aku menaip entry ni pun perut dia tak berhenti2 berbunyi. kenapa agaknya ye? padahal baru je bersahur. stomach dia upset agaknya. lagipun dia tak makan banyak sahur tadi. lidah dia ada 2 tompok blister. dan bila kubelek lagi rupanya ada satu blister ditepi sebelah dalam bibirnya. patutlah sejak malam tadi dia lebih banyak mendiamkan diri sambil mengulum bibir. kesian dia. patut pun kurang selera makan.

okay i'm off to the clinic. got to get the doctor to check him. lepas tu nak fetch yaya from her saturday class pulak and after that we are off to my mom's house in seremban. my niece yang berumur 2 tahun asyik call sejak malam tadi suruh 'mummy'(nama panggilan anak2 saudara pada ku) balik. geram kat dia, debab... jagalah dia kugomol petang nanti.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan 1430H

syukur Alhamdulillah, dengan limpah kurniaNya dan keizinanNya dipanjangkan usia kita untuk berkesempatan bertemu Ramadhan 1430H. i'm always excited about Ramadhan, selalu tertunggu2 dan bila dah menempuhinya terasa tak mahu Ramadhan berakhir sampai bila2. itulah perasaan orang yang lemah iman macam aku ni. sebab Ramadhan selalu aku jadikan titik tolak untuk muhasabah diri, perbaiki kelemahan, tetapkan keazaman, buat perubahan dan sebagainya. yess aku tau semua tu seharusnya kita perbaiki selalu, tapi bagi orang yang lemah macam aku ni, Ramadhan umpama beri aku kekuatan yang sangat berlainan dan umpama satu lembaran baru dalam hidup aku selalu bermula dengan Ramadhan.

percaya atau tidak, sehingga sebelum 12 Ramadhan tahun 2001 aku tak pernah amalkan membaca surah Yasin, apatah lagi setiap malam jumaat. ye, dulu memang aku selalu mengaji, hampir setiap malam selepas solat maghrib tapi bila tiba malam jumaat aku tak pernah baca surah Yasin, malah aku mengaku tak berapa lancar membaca Yasin sebab tak amalkan selalu. sehinggalah 12 ramadhan tahun itu bila tiba2 aku dikejutkan berita kematian arwah abang ipar. disubuh hening masa bangun sahur barulah aku dapat mesej. hati tak tenteram - sedih, gelisah dan kecewa sebab aku ketika itu jauh di port klang takde kenderaan sendiri nak balik kampung. mahu tak mahu kena tunggu jam 6.30 to board the first bus. nak tenteramkan hati aku ambil wuduk, ambil al-Quran dan buat pertama kalinya helaian pertama yang kuselak adalah surah Yasin.

Maha Suci Allah, aku yang tak berapa lancar membaca surah Yasin ni secara mudah dapat mengalunkan kalimat2 suci itu dengan penuh khusyuk. dan buat pertama kalinya aku betul2 rasa tenang, satu perasaan tenang,nyaman dan reda yang tak pernah aku rasakan sebelum ini. betapa besarnya nikmat surah itu, barulah kini kutahu. betapa ruginya aku sebelum ini. dan betapa bertuahnya aku kerana masih berpeluang discover kelebihannya. syukur Alhamdulillah. sesungguhnya Ramadhan tahun tersebut dan pemergian arwah abang ipar tahun itu banyak memberi kesan dalam hidupku.

okaylah enough with my ramblings. harap jangan muntah membacanya. it's not easy to confess that you are just an ordinary human being with flaws and everything. nobody is perfect but Allah swt.

kepada semua umat Islam, Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak.

Mata kadang salah melihat....
Mulut kadang salah berucap....
Hati kadang salah menduga.....
Maafkan segala kekhilafan yang pasti ada....


MARHABAN YAA RAMADHAN
Marhaban ya Ramadhan,
Bulan dimana nafas kita menjadi tasbih, tidur kita menjadi ibadah, amal kita diterima dan do'a kita di ijabah,
Sungguh cantik kain plekat, dipakai orang pergi ke pekan.
Puasa Ramadhan semakin dekat, silap dan salah mohon dimaafkan
Berharap padi dalam lesung, yang ada cuma rumpun jerami, harapan hati bertatap langsung, cuma terlayang e-mail ini.
Sebelum cahaya surga padam, Sebelum hidup berakhir, Sebelum pintu tobat tertutup, Sebelum Ramadhan datang, saya mohon maaf lahir dan bathin....
Taqqobalahu Minna Waminkum, Taqoballahu Ya Karim,
Marhaban Ya Ramadhan
Allaahumma baariklanaa fi Sya'ban WA ballighnaa Ramadhan Aminn.

Semoga Ramadhan membawa keberkatan kepada semua dan mengukuhkan ukhwah yang terbina

Latih Puasa

tak terlewat nak ucapkan terima kasih to all my friends yang tinggalkan comment on my entry pasal my homemade cakes. you guys witnesses my passion for baking grows from day to day. Daripada takde tools sampailah ada tools, my mad trip up and down ke bagus kota damansara and wilton, my experiment with my new found tools, disogokkan dengan macam2 gambar kek2 yang kubuat – ada yang hodoh, yang jelik sampailah yang senonoh. It means so much to me to share it with you, walaupun setakat dalam entry atau melalui gambar aja. okay sudah2lah bercakap pasal kek dah ada satu blog khas untuk itu.

mari kita bercerita pasal Ramadhan yang lebih kurang seminggu lagi nak tiba. Alhamdulillah ramadhan tahun lepas kami dah berjaya melatih fahmi berpuasa. walaupun tak puasa penuh sebulan tapi berjaya juga dia gagahkan diri cukupkan 10hari. itupun sebab aku yang terlewat melatih dia, agaknya kalau sejak awal ramadhan aku mulakan entah2 dapat dia puasa 30hari penuh. anak sulung aku ni boleh tahan kuat semangat dia dan agak mudah nak dibentuk. yang penting kita tak putus bagi semangat dan psiko dia. harapan kami ramadhan kali ini bertambah jumlah hari dia berpuasa. insyaAllah...

yang agak merisaukan kami ialah yaya. minah ni terlebih manja - bukannya dimanjakan tapi dia yang memanjakan diri sendiri. dia ni agak lembik skit, tapi bukan sebab dia lembik, cuma dia suka buat2 lembik. geram dengan dia. sebagai persediaan awal, semalam kami ajak kedua2nya berpuasa. cuma sahur untuk kedua2nya kami lewatkan sekitar waktu biasa mereka bersarapan pagi. target aku bukanlah nak mereka puasa penuh, kalau dapat separuh hari pun cukup.

petangnya aku telefon rumah nak dapatkan update terkini pasal kedua2nya. nak ketawa aku bila kakak cerita yang yaya tak lena tidur sebab perut terlalu lapar. dia berbuka jam 4 petang walaupun kakak dah pujuk dia berbuka awal sebenarnya. yang melucukan aku bukannya pasal dia kelaparan tapi bila dengar sebaik je dia dapat makan terus dia tidur lena petang tu. kesian dia.

fahmi pula tak boleh diharap. beriya2 dia nak berpuasa, sampai kat sekolah dia join kawan2 minum pagi dan makan tengahari berlaukkan ikan masak kicap, carrot dan ubi kentang! bila hubby balik kerja hubby kata fahmi pura2 lembik bersandar atas sofa. uisyy pandai berlakon anak mama ni ye. nampak gaya bulan ramadhan nanti kena pesan betul2 dengan cikgu dia yang dia puasa.

Bihun Sup Utara

alhamdulillah, setelah sekian lama menjauhkan diri dari dapur dek kesibukan yang pelbagai ragam, hari sabtu dan ahad lepas adalah hari membalas dendam. kesibukan yang menghalang aku masuk dapur for the past few weekends bukanlah semata2 sebab membaking, last weekend contohnya kami dikejutkan dengan pemergian my uncle, pastu attend hari sukan fahmi followed by kenduri kahwin my second cousin. dengan jadual yang padat sebegitu macam mana nak masuk dapur.

pun begitu minggu2 yang sebelumnya aku kehabisan idea memasak, kerapkali aku hidangkan masakan ringkas, pizza, spaghetti, lasagna, tuna mayo sandwich - semuanya dah terlalu kerap aku tempekkan kat blog ni.

jadi hari sabtu lepas aku pun masuk dapur menyiapkan bihun sup utara untuk selera hubby dan rendang ayam dengan pulut kuning yang lebih menepati citaras aku & anak2. nak menyiapkan kedua2 hidangan memang ambil masa yang panjang, after beberapa lama tak memerap di dapur aku hampir terlupa how tedious it can be nak memasak hidangan melayu ni.

asalnya memang aku nak buat bihun sup utara je, teringatkan bihun sup utara yang aku beli kat perkarangan masjid kami bulan lepas, sedap. tapi tiba2 hubby bagitau that he wont be around hari sabtu, bila mendengarkan cakap dia tu teruslah aku tukar rancangan masak rendang dan pulut kuning yang memang sampai nak meleleh dah air liur aku dok terbayang je depan mata. kat mulut aku mengomel2 marahkan dia buat rancangan lain, tapi dalam hati aku seronok sebab tak payahlah aku berlama2 kat dapur.

tiba hari sabtu he told me that he has changed his plan, jadi aku harus masak bihun sup utara tu. rupa2nya dia teruja nak makan sup tulang sampai dia sanggup tukar plan balik. hmmm nak tak nak kenalah penuhi hajat incik hubby, kesian plak kat dia dah terliur2 dengan sup tulang. adatlah buat sup mesti nak merenih sup tu lama, so seawal jam 4pm aku dah masuk dapur.

seperti biasa, tak pernah tidak aku alter resipi ni ikut selera sendiri. bihun sup utara ni instead of hidangkan dengan sambal cili merah, aku hidangkan dengan sambal cili kicap style jawa... jadilah bihun sup jawa! bihun sup ini cuma kurang 1 bahan je lagi iaitu lobak asin. terlupa nak suruh hubby beli kat pasar. gambar rendang dan pulut tak payahlah aku tempek kat sini. dah biasa buat.

dah lewat petang bila hidangan semua hampir siap, hubby masuk dapur bagitau jiran sebelah kanan tegur sedap bau masakan, macam bau nasi beriani katanya. uisyyy takkan bau wangi sup dengan rendang boleh terbit bau beriani pulak. emm tak patut kalau aku tak bagi kat dia barang sepinggan dua. lagipun memang aku buat banyak, sambil memasak dalam hati memang dah berhajat nak sedekah sikit kat jiran.

nak jadi cerita, elok je siap aku bungkus bihun sup dan rendang serta pulut, jiran kami tadi pun start enjin kereta terus keluar makan. hmpphhh jawabnya sup dah sejuk barulah sampai ke tangan jiran.

It's Official!

on this date, i'm making it official that i am now seriously pursuing my baking passion by turning it in to a small home based business. as i told hubby few weeks ago, i'm utilising all the resource made available (as most of the machine and equipment were sponsored/a gift from him) to me to the maximum. and as i told him, none of the gifts or baking equipments & machine that he bought for me will be wasted. i'm proving (had proven) to him that his investment on me has not been wasted, indeed. so darling hubby, in the future do not hesitate to pour more $$$ on me... i'll relish and cherish and appreciate them, no doubt ;-) ;-) ;-).

so here i am, proud to present you... Just Cakes. like it namesake, i'm offering you freshly baked homemade cakes. i've started to take orders from close friends since last year but at the same time turning down quite a number of request from cyber friends. though baking has been my passion since childhood, i consider myself very 'green' in this baking business. there are many things that i need to consider before i finally decided to officially launch my homemade cakes.

i thank my husband who is my supporter, he is the force behind my launching this homebased business, my children who are my no.1 fan - they never short of praise, my maid who helped to clear all the mess afterwards without her i'll be in a mess, my friends and cyber friends for their endless support.

For the time being Just Cakes offers limited range of cakes. if you intent to place an order do visit my cake blog at the link on the right column (it's listed under blog list or alternatively click A Part-time Baker link).

i am eager to improve my products and wish to turn baking into a life long career, so your comments and advices is very much sought and most welcome. selamat mencuci mata, if not meleleh air liur! ;-P

So Pissed Off

today's the star online's headlines....
Two boys freed after judge denies request for remand

KUALA LUMPUR: Two underaged boys who were arrested for taking part in Saturday’s anti-ISA demonstration have been released after a magistrate refused to allow them to be remanded.
*******************************************************************************

i'm not going to comment on the arrest of the two teenagers, i don't know them, i don't know what they were doing to account them being handcuffed like a criminal.

but i do think that perhaps out of the 526 people arrested during the anti-ISA demonstration, a large number could have been arrested secara membuta tuli - they were onlookers, they happened to be trapped in the situation, they happened to be passing by on the way to their exact destination, not because they were really 'into' the demonstration. tapi apa pun, the concept that the police adopt were apa2 hal cekup dulu cerita kemudian.

that's what happened to my brother on saturday. we (me, hubby & my parents) were on the way to the funeral of my uncle in hulu langat when we received a call from my brother informing us that he had been sprayed in the eyes with tear gas when he who happens to be riding a motorbike been stopped by the red light somewhere in the masjid jamek area. he told us that masa dia berhenti dekat traffic light secara tiba2polis datang sembur tear gas kat muka dia sampai mata dia pedih.

aku tak marah kalau benda tu terjadi sebab adik aku sengaja gatal join demonstration. aku tak marah kalau masa kejadian he was marching together with the group, it would be obvious that he asked for it. aku marah sebab pertama he was on his way to fetch his fiancee yang datang naik lrt nak pergi shopping. kedua, aku marah sebab my brother memang ada masalah mata - he has torn cornea at one eye yang telah dibedah & diganti tapi vision still blurry, never improved and at times masih sakit.

and this stupid moron police for the sake of memuaskan hati dan kehendak orang atasan, this stupid moron police zaman sekarang yang bermaharajalela bertindak atas blanket approval orang atasan telah mengambil kesempatan bertindak secara suka hati & suka-suka serta memBABI buta sembur tear gas pada sesiapa sahaja. at the end of the day, siapa yang lebih violence? the demonstrators or the police? tepuk dada tanyalah diri sendiri. lepas tu kalau ada orang complaint pasal unjustice arrest or attack by the police sure diaorang akan keluar statement yang bukan2 untuk cover kesilapan. kalau dekad yang kebelakangan ini masyarakat dah 0% trust kepada polis siapa yang kau nak persalahkan melainkan tunding jari kat batang hidung sendiri.

i was raised by a policeman. my father is a retired police. he was a good policeman, so does his friends, he wouldn't do something against his believes and ethics, polis2zaman dia dulu jauh beza dengan polis zaman sekarang. they were respected. he never teach us violence, he never teach us to rebel against the government, but he also never hide from us the existence of the bads behind the good ones.

The Last Journey

butir-butir perjalanan...

dari : bukit beruntung
ke : hulu langat
melalui : rasa - dusun tua - selayang - batu caves - lebuhraya hulu kelang - ampang
masa : 3 jam
tujuan : pengkebumian arwah my uncle who passed away on friday night

just imagine perjalanan terakhir arwah my uncle yang meninggal dunia jumaat malam baru2 ni untuk dikebumikan di hulu langat semata-mata kerana nak mengelakkan road block polis disebabkan demonstrasi anti-ISA hari ini.

rombongan 8-9 biji kereta mengiringi van jenazah terpaksa detour dan ambil jalan jauh sebab we were worried of being held up by the road block.

my uncle has been sick for quite sometime. he has been discharge by the hospital and asked to be taken home by the doctors after all possible measure to heal his ailment were exhausted. he was first diagnosed with hepatitis A which lead to liver failure. the last time i saw him was exactly a month ago at his home. though he was not bedridden back then but he look weak. he knew he wouldn't last long, the doctors said so. but he has the soul of a fighter. on the day he was brought to HUKM due to breathing difficulty and acute pain he asked to be transferred to selayang hospital because he feels more comfortable to discussed his future with his doctor.

on his last day he asked my mum to pray for his recovery and he asked my father who is his older brother if my father thinks he would be okay. to his last statement my father was stunned, he couldn't say anything for fear he would only give his ailing brother who was facing death a false hope. i believe my father was choking with his own tears for he knows he is about to lose one brother soon. my parents left the ward at about 2pm and returned home in seremban.

it was that night (on the very same date) that i received another call from my mum & dad. they told me that they are going back to see my uncle who is on his deathbed in selayang hospital. i may not be that close to my uncles but i'm sure not going to turn my back on anyone of them, especially not to one who is on his deathbed. i would have endure the 1 hour drive to fetch my parents and bring them to see my uncle for the last time but i was told to wait for them at home. i waited until the first hour passed by until eventually the phone call came from daddy, my uncle had passed away.

jenazah was brought to bukit beruntung, my dad's youngest sister's house. the next day on saturday the jenazah was brought to hulu langat to be buried at the deceased children's request. i felt that perjalanan dari bukit beruntung melalui rasa - dusun tua - selayang - batu caves - hulu kelang - ampang was the most ridiculous route i've ever encountered. bertambah ridiculous lagi bila kesemua 9 biji kereta tak familiar with that route terpaksa berkonvoi tapi terpaksa berpecah akhirnya bila sampai persimpangan ke hulu kelang di batu caves. heavy traffic menyebabkan ada yang tercicir.

finally kereta2 yang terpisah dari konvoi termasuk kereta ku terpaksa cari jalan sendiri. yang lucunya hubby tersilap naik hi-way ke kuantan dan kami makan angin di kaki genting highlands dengan jalan yang berlekuk2 sampai my dad yang tak biasa naik kereta jadi mabuk dibuatnya! pelik tapi benar, kami yang dah biasa balik pantai timur melalui hi-way karak pun boleh silap jalan. as if we don't know ke mana arah tujunya! lebih teruk bila road block di depan tol karak semakin teruk. we wasted almost 40mins, by the time we hit lebuhraya ampang again jenazah dah selamat dikebumikan. itulah takdir namanya, tak siapa boleh merancang atau mengubahnya. kun fa ya kun...

apapun ada juga yang berkata kalaulah kami redah juga laluan biasa biarpun held up by roadblocks tak mungkin kami had to endure 3 hours journey. tak mungkin selama itu. but the traffic sekitar kl memang teruk, sepanjang perjalan balik we were held up by 2 roadblocks. what a waste of time, what a waste of resource!

penatnya hari ni sebab sejak malam tadi aku tak cukup tidur. bawa my parents melawat jenazah di bukit beruntung sampai jam 4pagi. langsung tak tidur sampai subuh, agaknya mata dah tak mau pejam, otak sarat fikirkan macam2. i better go to bed. esok kena bangun awal sebab ada hari sukan fahmi. then immediately after kena bawa my parents ke kenduri kawin my second cousin di port klang. a Wedding and a Funeral minggu ni dah cukup buat aku rasa totally drain out.