A Glance At My Nursing Days

It has been 1 ½ mths since I stopped bf (read breastfeeding not boyfriend) yaya. Alhamdulillah it wasn’t so hard to make her stop bf. The first 3 weeks was trying. I hug her and told her that shes grown up now (2yo to be exact), she should stop bf, if she wants milk mama will make her one in a bottle not from mama’s b****. There were times when she refused to listen, I had to make up stories like mama’s b**** is sore, there’s no more milk, if she continues mama will become sick. Alhamdulillah she’s settled with the new arrangement now.

I am an advocate of bf. Nothing can ever stop me from bf my babies. no matter whatever the letdowns I had to endure contributed by bf, no matter what people say abt bf, I cant be bothered.

I’m not saying that I’m the greatest mother in the world, but to continue bf is an effort not many can succeed. I didn’t enter the marriage life unprepared. yes, there are moments where I feel uncertain when I first learnt that I’m with a baby, but that’s because I’m fully aware of the responsibilities entail. but not for so long, the moment I got over with the first-time mother syndrome, i made up my mind about a few things relates to motherhood. among other things is I want to bf my baby for as long as I can. which I succeed, with yaya for 26mths.

the first time with fahmi only lasted for 8-9mths, I became pregnant with yaya when fahmi was 6mth. to continue bf fahmi wud put unborn yaya at risk, risk of early contraction that wud lead to miscarriage. it wasnt easy to continue bf fahmi up to 9mths when we were 70km apart; he was left with my mum in s’ban (another though decision I made as I enter the motherhood world) which was intended to be for a short period until I found a good reliable nursery or baby sitter to mind him while I work but prolonged into 9mths full of agony and misery. nevertheless, I never failed to make the twice weekly trip to sban just to deliver EBM to my eagerly waiting baby. every Wednesday I wud bring bottles of frozen EBM to work, keep in the freezer at office’s pantry and right after work me & hubby wud rush back to sban.

fahmi dah terbiasa dgn schedule rabu & sabtu. every Wednesday my mum akan duduk dekat beranda depan sambil pangku fahmi, waiting for me to come home. selalunya around 6.30pm we wud have arrive. my mum kata petang2 rabu macam tu selalunya fahmi doesn’t want to be bottle fed, he wud want to wait for mama. kalau sampai hari dah gelap I fail to turn up, fahmi mulalah menggesel2 kat nenek’s bosom sambil merengek2. kesian dia. when work commitment doesn’t permit me to make the occasional mid week trip, I wud replace it with Thursdays. back then we live like nomad, always on the road, pagi isnin pergi kerja from sban, rabu petang balik sban, khamis pergi keje from sban, sabtu petang straight from office rush back to sban, macam tulah rutin me & hubby. what a hectic life, unsettled, penat, bila difikirkan semula, macam takde life pun ye jugak. apapun, I dun regret it one bit, now I can proudly tell fahmi that how much I love him, that although we were apart for 9mths I had never neglect him. when I told him how he wud sit on nenek’s lap waiting for mama to comeback untuk susukan dia, he wud smile. there were times I came across him repeating my story as if talking to himself… I am proud he is able to understand his mother’s plight.

with all the chaos that the people around me had to endure, people that are close to me, I decided to do better when yaya arrives. we hired a maid, eventhough that means all my savings are gone to pay the agents fee, visa, permit etc; moved to a bigger house to accommodate bilangan keluarga bertambah. alhamdulillah, when I get everything settled and organized I can focus on bf yaya, I can make time for fahmi & hubby. I managed to complete the 6mths exclusive bf, months thereafter yaya started solid food. I managed to put formula at bay until yaya reached 1 ½ yo. I introduced her to formula because my milk supply dropped, plus we (me&hubby) decided eloklah kalau mula kurangkan bf supaya by the time she reaches 2yo dah boleh stop bf terus. alhamdulillah, syukur sebab dapat penuhi tanggungjawab bf yaya sampai 2 tahun… I completely stop bf 2 weeks after she turned 2, which I purposely delay sebab rasa sayang nak berenggang dengan dia. I love the moments when she nestled against me, rasa peaceful, a total bliss.

I cud have never succeed without the support from my love ones. Yes, in the initial stages of parenthood there were times when we dance to different tunes. But i am thankful to my soulmate for being a supportive, understanding, considerate husband. Ada satu masa tu hubby merata-rata tempat pergi cari sparepart breast pump.
A note to hubby: there were times when I made your life miserable because I was driven by my determination to bf my babies. but you’d agree that what I put you through had made you a wonderful, fantastic, superb husband & father ;)

The key to successful bf? there are many, from the medical expert/health practitioners point of view. But personally, these are the major factors that keep me running:

~ Me, myself
~ My determination (I go by a malay proverb “hendak seribu daya…”)
~ Mental & emotional strength (preparation)
~ Support from your love ones (you can influence them, change their perception)

On a humble note, I am blessed I have no major problems to continue bf my children like very low milk supply, inverted nipples etc. Yes, I do encounter many obstacle while bf my children, who wudnt? but i managed to shove all the probs aside with the help of the people around me.

Family Gathering

It was hard to get the whole family gathered not even on hari raya. tau2 jelah when 3 out of 4 siblings married, yang 3 tu mesti kena ikut giliran balik beraya, left only the youngest one to celebrate raya with my parents that is provided he doesnt work on hari raya.

alhamdulillah yesterday I managed to gathered them all (except my bro in-law) to celebrate my sister’s birthday at the Asiatique Restaurant, Royal Adelphi Hotel. All from atuk to nenek, mummy, daddy, ummi, pak ngah, mak ngah, ucu, kakak farah, kak yam, kak shirah, abang upie, fahmi, yaya, nana, amalina & the youngest and smallest of all baby ayien. Pening with the pet names? well the pet names are for the benefits of kanak-kanak ribena sebenarnya. Lets revisit the family tree, shall we?

1st Tier
1. Atuk & Nenek – my abah & ma (short for mama)

atuk takkan makan mee jer kot?

2nd Tier

2. Ummi – she is Ya to me & siblings, Mama to her children, Ummi to her nieces & nephews

3. Mummy & Daddy – me & hubby, we are mummy & daddy to our children, nieces & nephews. ramai kan anak2ku?

4. Pak Ngah & Mak Ngah – my younger brother & his wife. he is ‘adik’ to the siblings, mama & abah to their children

5. Ucu – he is ‘baby’ to the siblings, hes so malu to be called baby in front of his frens so he created the reverse version ‘ebby’. hes lucky the nieces & nephews don’t call him baby but opt for ucu instead.

yaya with daddy

Maryam, Amalina, Ummi, Farah with her hair all over her face, Mak Ngah ducking into her food eh korang dah pakat eh pakai pink?

3rd Generation
Ranting Ummi
Kak Yam @ Maryam (cucu instant atuk & nenek)
Kakak Farah
Abang Upie @ Lutfi (cucu instant atuk & nenek)
Amalina

Ranting Pak Ngah
Kak Shirah @ Shahirah (cucu instant)
Nana @ Sharina
Ayien @ Shahrin

Ucu takde ranting lagi and my ranting dah tak yah disclose lagi dah… hehe

three stooges... Upie, Amalina (geramnya si tembam ni) & Fahmi

Yesterday was not only a birthday celebration for ummi, but the tell-all day for her. except she doesn’t have to tell us, we figure out ourselves by looking at her bulging tummy. ummi is 7 mths pregnant with her 3rd baby (apart from her instant children)! I’m laughing at myself! teruknye aku kakak sendiri pregnant pun tak tau… hehehe way to go Ya. the same day I visited pija, she ask me this question “kak ya bersalin bila?” I thought that she must had such a difficult delivery, urat dia putus and keep on remembering last years event so I dismiss her question with the “are you kidding look” and told her the baby is already 1yo. jangan marah pija.

what you think hiding behind amalina can conceal your bulging tummy from us eh? :)

nampak gayanye dah 4 tahun berturut2 lah nenek & atuk dapat cucu. meriahnya rumah nenek! :) I’m grinning.

That Boy Of Mine

an old friend of mine who was also my bridesmaid is now in labour. she is due to deliver her 1st child anytime any second from now. we sms-ed petang tadi, the last thing she mention was that shes been admitted, started to feel mild contraction from waist below, 3cm dilate and shes scared to death, contributed to the fact that she might be giving birth to a huge 4kg baby boy. shes afraid that there might be problem in delivering her baby.

it reminds me of my own experience delivering fahmi. some snobbish doctor scolded me because he expected my unborn baby going to be huge. i was at my 36wks back then. "apasal you mau baby besar? nanti susah mau beranak" i feel like slapping his face hard. heyy aku bayar ko bukan untuk marah or buat aku susah ok. anyway bukan susah sangat nak lahirkan fahmi. he was a chubby little baby thou.


budak montel with daddy


why are you crying my baby?
anyway, that was 3 years ago. now my chubby baby has transformed into a lean boy. gone his chubby face and sturdy limbs, i wonder how he lost all that baby fat so easily when i had to starve to death to get slim. hes all grown up now, with his 'mawi' haircut that i detest so much. no i love my boy, but i hate his haircut, thank you to hubby who got his new haircut done at nearby barber shop.

hair on


hair off


hes changed a bit since he came back from the barber. hes acting harsh againts yaya, macam gangstar (read gangster), kasar semacam jer, masa tak shave rambut pun dah macam power rangers. sampai hubby pun regret getting his head shaved. hubby kata next time tak mau botakkan dah... hehehe tau takpe!

he can suap nasi on his own, i'm amaze looking at him scoop nasi into his hands dan suap ke mulut. we've never teach him how to suap nasi, but i realised that my two kids are very attentive, they watch you and they replicate your act. thats how they learn. yaya pun dah pandai suap nasi sendiri, but of course ke mana tumpahnya nasi kalau tidak ke lantai!

i miss my chubby baby, dulu2 masa kecik he needs to be cuddle in order to sleep. nak mama cuddle kalau daddy cuddle sure dia tak tido. i love to cuddle him, so that i can smell him, every baby has his own smell that makes you feel content and tenang je. now hes grown up he doesnt want to be cuddle to sleep, tak macho kot... but every now and then he still claims his 'peluk-peluk' time, which he always gets if yaya is too occupied with whatever shes doing. kalau dia terperasan... habislah 'peluk-peluk' time fahmi.

hes so bubbly lately. bercakap memang petah tapi bahaya ooo… cannot simpan rahsia. last few weeks I took him out with me, shopping. bila balik rumah hubby ask him “mama bawak abang pergi mana hari ni?” he said “pegi jalan2” hubby ask “buat apa?” fahmi said “mama pakai seksi!” whoops! merah padam muka mama.

the other day, sambil rileks watching tv after dinner, fahmi blew up bibik’s secret.

“mama, siang tadi kan, bibik joget joget” heheh this is sumthing new. “bibik joget apa?” fahmi goes “bibik joget dangdut… macam gini macam gini haa” doing his chicken without head dance part goyang2 bum bum tu. bibik shy shy cat kena caught in the act.

even bibik admit that nowadays fahmi dah boleh buat kawan bercerita. yesss… I agree, if hes not in his cranky mood lah.

back to my friend, semoga pija selamat melahirkan... amin...

update: pija safely delivered her 4.1kg baby boy at 4am early this morning thru c-sect. it seems she has a valid reason to worry so much. phewww! i wonder how she carry the 4.1kg in her tummy... shes much much smaller than i am - 16 may @1300hrs

Very Berry Discovery

call me jakun if you want, but for someone who has never been out of the country, I’ve never get to experience what a fresh sweet juicy strawberry taste like until yesterday! if that makes me a jakun… so be it.

I am fond of strawberries. if i saw strawberries whenever i go to the market for our weekly supplies, i wud stop for a few mins membelek2 the berries and fikir berkali2 to buy or not to buy. had my first experience eating strawberry masa lawatan sekolah to Cameron highlands masa standard 6 dulu. I was full of anticipation masa visit to the strawberry farm. tapi indah khabar dari rupa… the freshly picked strawberry that cost me $10 per pack was sour, if I had my eyes closed while biting into its flesh I cud have easily thought I was eating mangga muda. nevertheless, I brought it back with me and share the sour experience with my mum, sis & bros.

I remember watching Chef Wan in one of his famous cooking programme, fishing for ripe strawberries from the many fruit stall at a street in California, if i'm not mistaken. Masa tu dalam hati terdetik “bilalah dapat pergi sana rasa strawberry yang betul2 manis…”

heheh akhirnya jumpa jugak strawberry yang manis kat carefour. imported from California, so as stated at the label, paid rm6.99 per packet. brought it back, wash, drain and popped one into my mouth… uhhh manisnya. we (me, hubby, fahmi & yaya of course) finished the whole packet and found myself dying for more. malam tadi, lepas maghrib, pujuk2 hubby pergi carefour lagi and bought back 5 packets more!
puas hati! :)

Carricature of Yaya

before anyone get confused let me just tell you that it is a carricature of yaya.
me and hubby both agree that the piece of art doesnt really resemble yaya, tapi mata tu adalah sikit2 macam mata yaya, plus i managed to get her hair tied up exactly macam dalam gambar tu.
cute kan? hehehe.. i'm bias of course. we had the carricature done while having our lunch at sheraton subang tengahari tadi lepas habis kelas tumble tots fahmi... for free.
yes, the they told us it's a complimentary gift for the diners, but we can see that not all diners get their face drawn by the artist. i guess we are just the lucky one... yaya is.

on the way back both fahmi & yaya kena marah dengan daddy. the kids were tired, so masing2 start buat hal. kena marah, kena "shut up"... terus zzZZzzz...

sampai rumah, mama & daddy pulak zZzZzzzz... a short outing but rasa so exhausted, due to the flu kot.

Craving For...

craving for food! macam orang pregnant plak teringin nak makan itu ini. i blame it all on pms... heheh usually i wud crave for chocolates, but this time i crave for:

1. fish… not just any fish but dory fish. Rasa terliur jer nak makan grill fish. So last week I ask hubby to buy frozen dory at carefour subang jaya. he bought back 2 packs of 6pcs dory fillet… amboiiii perli ke? Thought of cooking them for dinner khamis malam lepas, but I was sooo furious over something that happen at office, spoil mood orang jer (another pms symptom i guess). kesian kat hubby.

so, jumaat malam lepas hubby takde, i asked bibik not to cook nasi banyak, just enough for the kids. for myself... ehemm dory lah.

dapatlah makan 1/2 keping jer fish, carrot dengan kentang… the rest my 2 little kittens kerjakan habis-habisan… ummm yummm yummm yummm lepas makan, yaya terlantar on my lap. while cooking the fish, she already had her nasi. tapi si kecik ni selera dia besar, nak jugak makan fish, kalau makan sikit takpe jugak, nahhh akibatnya malam tu dia terlantar on my lap sambil mengadu “mama, akit puwut” ya Allah keras giler perut dia… *lol*

2. i crave for "udang merah" heheheee udang kalau dah masak sure will turn red kan? i'm not talking about ordinary udang but durian "udang merah". uhhh sedapnya durian ni, manis ... i dun like jenis yang pahit2 tu. last night gave hubby a hint to buy the durian, honestly i dunno how to choose the gud one, hubby's the expert, maklumlah org ada pokok durian belakang rumah. unlike me, bukak pintu belakang ada longkang...heee. hubby said i shudnt be eating durian masa tengah selsema & batuk but i told hubby "takpe buat ubat.." :)

see... bukan mama jer yang suka "udang merah"

asyik dok melayan selera makan ni, i just realised that i've put on weight! ughhh diet diet diet! ermmm rasa nak makan fish n chips pulak ... hehe

Cheeky Way To Make Lasagna

jom main masak2?
i owe a few readers yang asking for the recipe... uh uhhhh... i'm not an expert at cooking, so frens if you guys wonder how i make the lasagna, this is my way(cheeky way) of making lasagna. kalau boleh semua pun nak pakai instant... hehe

White Cheese Sauce
3 tbsp butter
2 tbsp wheat flour
2 cups low fat milk
1/2 cubed chicken stock
¾ cup chopped cheddar cheese
2 tsp dried mix herbs (oregano, basil, rosemary – McCormick’s)
or 2 tsp chopped oregano
1/2 tsp white pepper powder
1 tsp salt

Melt butter under medium heat, add in flour and let it simmer for about 2 mins. Pour in low fat milk, add cubed chicken stock, let it simmer for 6 mins until the mixture thickens. Quickly add cheese, mix herbs, pepper and salt. Mix well until cheese dissolved. Let cool.

Spaghetti Sauce
300gms mince meat/chicken
2 cups diced carrot
1 red onion - chopped
1/2 cup celery stick - finely sliced
2 ripe tomatoes diced
4 tbsp tomato paste (can be subsitute with puree)
1 sprig rosemary
1 cubed beef stock/broth
3 tbsp olive oil/cooking oil
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt (less is better)

In a medium pot, heat olive oil/cooking oil. Sautee carrot & onion until carrot half cooked. Add mince meat and diced tomatoes. Let the mince meat cooked for about 5 mins until its juices runs clear. Pour in the tomato paste/puree, mix well until the mixture simmer. Add in cubed beef stock/broth and 1.5litre water and rosemary sprig and salt & sugar. Let it simmer under medium heat until the sauce thickens.

Preparing the Lasagna
1 box of instant lasagna sheet (large or half size)
½ cup of shredded cheese (mozzarella)
white cheese sauce
spaghetti sauce

Lightly glazed the baking foil with margarine. Pour one layer of spaghetti sauce, place one layer of lasagna sheets, continue with one layer of spaghetti sauce, 3 tbsp of cheese sauce and lasagna sheets. Repeat the whole process until you finish making 43 layers. The top layer must be covered with cheese sauce only, make sure it is enough to cover the whole lasagna sheets. Tossed with shredded cheese.

Ready to bake in the oven under 180º for 35-40mins.

Kalau tak pakai instant sheets lagi sedap... rasanya lah...hehe. Preparation time: ntah agak2 dalam 1 1/2 hr kot? Nasib ada bibik, ada jugak orang nak kemas dapur...heheh ;)

Entertaining The Kids Day

it has been quite sometime since my last entry. dah start jadik malas lah tu…hehe
actually a lot of thing happens during those silent time. a cousin (my dad’s side) that I’ve never seen since 20yrs ago passed away on 24apr, drove my parents from seremban to banting to attend the funeral, send them back to seremban and me drove back to subang, all on the same day. fuhhh exhausted. went back to work the next day. and the day after had to faced another office conflict, ughhh *&^%$#@!!?* something I can do without.

come Friday, hubby went on with his trip back to his kampung, alone… what I thought would be a short trip well 2 days the most become an extended trip. he’s been gone for 5days 4 nights altogether. never been without hubby that long, not even during his heavy outstation days masa mula2 kawin dulu. the problem with me is kalau hubby takde I feel like half of me is gone… start lah takde selera makan, tidur pun tak lena, bukan setakat tak lena, tak boleh tidur langsung sebenarnya! so the result of 4 sleepless nights is demam selsema!!! eeiii geram… yaya pun sama demam selsema, I told hubby yaya demam sebab rindu kat daddy, purposely said that to make him feel bad leaving us for sooo long. he’s back anyway, on Tuesday.

so yesterday, was the entertaining the kids day. sebab selalunya weekend we would take the kids for an outing. last weekend hubby not around, mama pun takde mood, fahmi &yaya tak dapat outing. daddy dah balik dapatlah fahmi & yaya pergi jalan2. woke up late Wednesday morning, qada’ balik tak bleh tidur 4 malam. terus siap2 pack beg mickey mouse fahmi with all the necessary stuff i.e. pampers, baby wipes, extra baju, camera, drinking water, at 10.30am we were already heading towards taman jaya putra station. parked our car there, bought two-way tickets to kl sentral.

fahmi was so excited about taking a train, yaya plak takut sampai menangis2 sebab she heard bunyi lrt tapi cudnt see any, she was a bit confused.

fahmi had so many question about siapa yang bawa the train, so hubby had to do a lot of explanation to him.

from kl sentral we had to walk for about 500m to take another train heading towards berjaya times square. aduiii penat berjalan plus hari panas, we should have gone out earlier but yesterday memang panas terik. fahmi pulak asyik tanya daddy “mana car kita?” I guess dia pun tak tahan panas plus penat berjalan kaki. sampai kat imbi station, we all turun, take a short walk coz this station terus sambung masuk ke berjaya times square. huhu malu nak admit, tapi itulah 1st time jejak kaki ke bts.

we went straight to 7th floor, masuk ke cosmo theme park, paid rm62 for 2 adult tickets and 1 child ticket, yaya enter for free coz she is below 3ft height… heheh. so those who have a 2yr old kid tapi tinggi… heheh get ready jelah to pay rm15, dun argue with the girl at the ticket counter. the kids had a fun time despite mama rasa tak sedap badan plus yaya rasa suam2 jer badan dia. we only gets to take 4 rides, every single game ada minimum height, yaya didn’t pass for most of it. walaupun fahmi pass for more than 4 games but he has to be accompanied, when it comes to that hubby plak ter'over' qualified for the max height. ughhh...

naik train lagi... train ni lalu ke satu tunnel yang gelap. kat dalam tunnel tu everything in white even your shirt will glow. ada spiderweb and big fake spiders kat tepi2 tunnel tu, fahmi was so scared of the spiders.

after we finished our 4th ride, badan yaya makin panas, she must be tired she fall asleep atas bahu hubby.

so we decided its time to go home… huh sekejap jer kat situ about 1 hr plus. fahmi start throwing tantrums coz he doesn’t want to leave yet. by 2pm we were already out of the place.

penat sebab badan sakit2... uhh tak suka selsema :(