Special Dedication

this is a special entry dedicated to my beloved niece. she hit 7 today. her birthday was celebrated in advance together with yaya's recently. i made this entry because she is particularly special to me and because of something that she wrote on yaya's handmade birthday card touched my heart and emotion.

she was named farah alya - most highest joy (or something like that) because her arrival this day 7 years ago into the family was anticipated with so much pride and joy by her parents, first time grandparents, aunt & uncles. she was our sun & moon, our intan payung since her birth until today. even after we (me & my bro) have children of our own flesh & blood, the special place that she claimed in our heart would always remain hers and will always be a special daughter to all of us. in my heart she will always remain as my 'first' baby.

like her namesake (most highest joy) she was the centre & source of our happiness for a long long time since her birth. she is so special because despite not knowing her father whom passed away when she was only 7 months old, the father figure was quickly replaced my her grandpa & her uncles; who despite having no experience playing a father figure and despite their immaturity (they were both young) quickly matured into responsible young men. the day she lost her papa she acquired 3 papa instantly. she was left with only her mama but at the same time she claimed an aunt as her 'mummy' (a title that she gave to me) who is ever willing to accept her as her own flesh & blood.

she spent her first 4 years of childhood in my parents place, where my mum & myself alternatively played a mother figure to her in my sister's absence (she lived 35mins away from mum's place). until my sister re-married. along with a 'babah' she also acquired a stepsister & a stepbrother. i witnessed her difficulty to adapt to the new situation; having never experience what a true nucleus family like. the siblings rivalry and having to accept the fact that she has to share her mama with 2 other siblings; it was a difficult time coz she had been the only child for a long time. a 'babah' that she could not quite connected to. it during the early days, my father and brothers would always engaged in what i refer to as 'snatch & run' thing. having getting used to have farah around in the household (read, pampering her ke tahap princess!), i guess my father & brothers somewhat missed their special girl so much that sometimes they would find their ways to bring farah back to mum's place. it hurts for them to see her trying hard to fit into the newly formed family. they have to get used to the new situation, and alhamdulillah they did 'cool down' sometime after that and after witnessing that farah finally happily settled in the new environment. she's happy now that she have friends to play with. and we are happy for her if she is happy.

until recently when she made a special birthday card for yaya. i'm so touched by what she wrote in the card. she is baring her feelings to my 3 year old daugther who is too young to understand her loneliness. the instant siblings that she acquired, stayed on for 2 years only. they were taken away by their grandparents. just imagine she just started to get used having siblings but out of sudden they were snatched away. it was so abrupt. farah is now left with her baby sister & brother who are too small & too young to play with her. i felt angry with whoever did this, how could they put their personal interest above these children's feelings. obviously she missess her step siblings, and they missed her too. and my maternal instinct just couldn't let me be a bystander. that is why hubby is fetching her tonight to stay with us for the weekend.