Sunday 7 February 2010

In The Aftermath of A Migrain Attack

i had migrain attak on friday, the first after 3 years. it lasted for more than 18hours and even after i swallowed the pain killer prescribed the pain subsided but lingered throughout the whole saturday. the aftermath of the whole attack left me somewhat numb, lost of appetite for food, for everything. nak update blog pun takde mood, for i stayed in bed on saturday trying to shut out the lingering mild but annoying pain and to recover from lost of sleep and rest the night before.

attack kali ini aku betul2 tak tahu apa sebabnya. i'm running my own analysis but couldn't zoom in to the main cause. bila difikir2kan balik the pain started very mild on thursday morning. aku ingatkan cuma sakit kepala biasa. i was supposed to fast, memang selalu puasa sunat isnin & khamis. tapi sakit tu agak mengganggu, akhirnya aku batalkan puasa, take some food and telan 2 biji panadol. agak mengejutkan sebab sakitnya tak hilang. still i went through the day at the office tanpa sedikit pun ada rasa syak that it was tanda2 awal migrain. mind you aku dah 3 tahun free from migrain, walaupun bukan tempoh masa yang lama tapi dah hampir terlupa tanda2nya. or perhaps it was my wishful thinking that i am forever free from migrain that cloud my sense that day.

i went back home in a rush. terus menyibukkan diri siapkan deco kek tempahan orang. entah kenapa kerjaku serba tak kena malam itu. i was anxious, i couldn't focus and i was trembling inside, at that point of time aku tak ambil pot langsung coz i had little time to dwell on other matters except the cake yang nak kena deliver malam tu jugak.

malam tu masa nak tidur rasa sakit kepala makin kuat, tapi disebabkan mengantuk kuabaikan jelah. harap2 bila tidur hilanglah sakit nanti. rupa2nya tidak. i woke up at 3am with throbbing headache. walau kupujuk2 hati untuk tidur tapi tak terdaya juga nak lawan sakit. tiba waktu subuh i had to drag myself off the bed, solat perlahan2. urghh nak gi kerja memang tak daya tapi demi teringatkan nak hantar fahmi ke sekolah aku gagahkan juga mandi basahkan kepala sekali. rasa nak menangis kesakitan tapi apakan daya hubby takde nak ganti tempat aku hantarkan fahmi ke sekolah. perlahan2 aku bergerak masuk kereta. perlahan2 juga aku bawa kereta sebab setiap pergerakan adalah kesakitan yang teramat sangat pada kepalaku. fahmi dah gelisah sangat tengok aku.

after i dropped him off kat school aku singgah ke klinik depan rumah. ya Allah nak keluar dari kereta pun rasa macam nak merangkak je. sempat ku telefon hubby nak mengadu, alih2 aku dimarahnya sebab bawa kereta dalam keadaan merbahaya. tapi apa pilihan aku masa tu. kat klinik the doctor prescribed me with cafergot, tak pernah lagi dapat cafergot from any klinik, normally the docs yang pernah kujumpa bagi ponstan je, yang padaku mild compared to cafergot. maybe aku dah used to cafergot agaknya.

migraine kali ini berpanjangan. lepas makan ubat seharian aku berkurung dalam bilik gelap dan sejuk pun masih susah nak hilang. mata kiriku sakit sangat rasa macam nak terjojol keluar. mujur anak2ku balik sekolah tak mengacau mama dia. diaorang buat hal sendiri je kat bawah. masa sakit begini aku rindu pulak kat mum's tender loving care. she knows how to take care of me waktu2 diserang migraine begini. selalunya ma akan tolong tutupkan langsir, gelapkan bilik walaupun waktu malam gelap gelita not an inch of light dibenarkan, pasangkan kipas kuat2, letak wet towel atas kepala, selimutkan aku. ma will keep communication with me to the barest coz she knows at times like this i can't tolerate bunyi suara or any movement at all. from time to time she would comeback to check on me but she wouldn't say anything. i guess kadangkala she get worried also sebab tengok aku tak bergerak macam orang mati. but that's how it is, that's how i eliminate the pain. by staying still on the bed tak bergerak tak bercakap tak mengaduh tak makan tak minum.

lewat petang jumaat tu sakit berkurangan sedikit. hubby balik awal dari outstation. handphone yang ku matikan sepanjang hari berdering2 dengan sms sebaik kuhidupkan semula. aduhh tak kuasa nak melayan hal ofis waktu2 begini. honestly aku tak pernah off handphone hatta nak tidur sekalipun. tapi kalau sampai aku off kan handphone kali ni you know lah what it means. i was in deep pain!

nak recover your wits and sense selepas kena migrain attack ambil masa agak lama juga. myself personally feel disoriented, kepala rasa kosong betul2 macam tin kosong, kadang nak bercakap pun tercari2 ayat dalam kepala macam orang bodoh je.

owh aku masih tak pasti what triggers the attack kali ni. nak kata something in my diet yang tak sesuai rasanya takde apa2. nak kata stress, hmm i wasn't that stressful few days sebelum kena migrain. but lack of sleep and rest could be one of the factor. barangkali kesan2 tak cukup tidur minggu sebelumnya lepas tu bila hubby pergi outstaion whole week last week pun aku susah nak tidur.

hubby sibuk suruh pergi scan kepala aku ni. but i told him aku dah cukup bersyukur sebab sekarang ni 3 tahun sekali baru aku kena migrain. kalau dulu dalam setahun tak terbilang kerapnya aku kena migrain. syukur alhamdulillah.