Thursday, 19 July 2012


My acceptance of resignation letter just reached me today.
After 3 weeks of my departure. Ya, sila buntangkan mata anda.
It was hand delivered to me by the office boy.
Saya tiada hati untuk pergi ambil sendiri when I was notified of it 2 days ago.
I have almost lost hope of getting one. Nobody seems to care to expedite it before my exit. Demi menjaga hati dan air muka No.1.
Fine, I played along.
Now 'It' finally come, I feel relieved. And released.
I feel free.

Tapi kenapa ada semacam kesedihan sedikit dalam hati?

I think 'It' (the letter) was the subconciuos reason why I didn't blog - couldn't and wouldn't blog about my last day in the office.
I know I wanted to write about my last day here but I keep on putting it on hold. Sehari demi sehari. I don't know why. But now I know.
'It' is a seal for me. A seal to mark my exit. A seal that will locked any opportunity or attempt to bring me back to where I was before.
Now I finally have it, I can talk ;-).
Walaupun saya sangat suka dan enjoy berada di sana. Walaupun saya akui pengalaman 10 tahun itu terlalu banyak mendewasakan saya. Dan juga menghantui jaga dan lena saya (*_^). 10 tahun di sana banyak membentuk diri saya. But I also come to realised that it is too much for me that it push me to break away.
I have to break away.
Sebab saya sudah hilang diri saya sendiri. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't like what I've become.
I have to stop myself and take control of my life again.
Yup, memang serius bunyinya. A lot of issues there.

I know I will regret the decision to leave that company, the job, the people that have become ME - 'my family'. I was 'married' to them before kan?
Some people in office may say that it was a very selfish decision to leave, yes I agree 110%. It was a very selfish decision but the best that I made for myself.
At least I managed to overcome whatever fear I have and leave while I still can. Leaving without having another job to depend to, bukanlah sesuatu yang mudah.

But, as I once said to a colleague, "I just want my life back"
As simple as that.

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