Monday, 29 September 2008

29 Ramadhan 1429H - It's My Birthday Today

happy birthday to me... happy birthday to me...
fahmi malu2 nak nyanyi lagu happy birthday for mama, yaya pulak masih lena dibuai mimpi when i left to office pagi tadi.

Alhamdulillah syukur ke hadrat Ilahi sebab diberi kesempatan berjumpa bulan Ramadhan & insyaAllah Syawal dalam umur yang mencecah 30 ni. Aduiiii beratnya 30 tu... heheh what's in a number kan yang penting what you have achieve sepanjang tempoh ni.

Aku rasa tahun ini, lebih2 lagi bulan ni dalam waktu2 terdekat nak menginjak ke angka 30 secara semulajadinya datang kesedaran tentang banyak hal. Antaranya tentang arah hidup aku & keluarga, my future - will i still be here with this company in 5 years time? alhamdulillah rezeki sejak kerja kat sini memang melimpah ruah, itu tak boleh dinafikan. tapi pernah tak you reach a stage where you feel you have done enough & takde apa lagi dah yang boleh dicontribute... not that i mean aku ni top contributor, but rasanya ada masa2nya yang aku rasa aku dah habis daya & usaha, it's time for me to move on, to explore myself to the next level dengan new environment. i need to enrich my life.

seriously aku sendiri rasa terkejut dengan perubahan ni dan masih rasa ragu2 lagi. but safe to say that i'm now at the stage where i'm preparing myself for the 'exit' to a new life, new future.

new life tak semestinya yang lebih baik dari sekarang dan tak semestinya kurang bagus from what i have now. it depends on individual target. i don't value life dengan berapa banyak wang kita ada in our account. of course kalau ada duit berkepuk2 tu adalah satu bonus & security.

tapi rasa2nya dengan umur dah masuk 30 ni dengan baki insyaAllah kalau panjang umur lagi 40 tahun aku ada untuk tumpang bernafas kat bumi Allah swt ni aku nak juga buat sesuatu untuk kepuasan diri sendiri.

i want to be a better person. teringat Ustaz Dr Fadzillah Kamsah cakap, define kehendak kita betul2 so that ia boleh terbit secara visual. so let me give meaning to 'a better person'. i want to work less hours so that i'd be able to give more attention to my family (hubby, children & parents), i want to be able to pleased my family, aku juga nak beribadat dengan lebih baik & sempurna (i'm not getting any younger), i want (need) to balance my life. it is something that i have tried but could not achieve with my current work. i might be wrong but that's my analysis... i do hope ada yang boleh bagi other point of view but buat masa ini itulah my conclusion.

wow! i've reflect so much dalam masa kebelakangan ni ye. macam tu rupanya bila menginjak ke angka 30... :-)

bila hubby hadiahkan kenwood mixer tu, hadiah tu seolah2 bagi makna baru dalam hidup aku. i can't thank him much. that was the sweetest thing he did & hadiah yang paling bermakna. everyday semakin kuat aku rasa my passion memang for baking (perasan je kot). i've always love baking, more than i love cooking. perhaps it is a sign that i should explore further.

whatever decision, whichever turn i make... wish me for the best. amin...

7 comments:

eiseai said...

happy birthday!! welcome to the 30s

Aiyo...u punya turning of event banyak betul. i dont think i thought as much when i turned 30. all i remember is having amir and then that's it. having him took away my turning 30 thought...

Liasari said...

tulah akibatnya org getik kawin awal mcm i... too many of event in my 20s, having 2 growing up kids buat i rasa cepat dimamah usia. hehe nolah i enjoy every bit of it... buat i cepat matang ;-)

lemongrass said...

Hi Lia,
Sorry for the belated wish but I hope you had a wonderful birthday but don't think too much.30 is still very young my dear, hehehe....

liza said...

happy belated besday..
lama betul x jengok sini.. busy giler lately.. sorry ya late wish!! oppss.. selamat hari raya jugak.. to fahmi, well done boy! dapat posa penuh.. good boy.. kirim salam dgn dia ye lia...

SHIRAH said...

happy belated besday...

watie said...

Kak Lia....i think x lewat kan nak wish....Happy Belated Birthday!!!

Liasari said...

thank you liza, shida & watie... segan pulak dah masuk 30 nih... hehehee