When He Came Back Crying

baru je last week cerita pasal fahmi settle down kat his new school. pagi tadi i pay another visit to the school (actually memang tiap2 hari pun pergi coz hantar fahmi)this time around i seek for his class teacher to discuss pasal fahmi. sayangnya his class teacher, shamini takde tapi nasib another teacher, sherry sudi dengar keluhan aku.

bukan keluhan apa. malam tadi seperti biasa aku akan spend time tanya fahmi how's his new school and tanya jugak pasal apa yang dia belajar, about his classmates and teacher. terkejut aku malam tadi sebab bila tanya hal sekolah tiba2 fahmi pasang muka monyok sampai tahap mencebik2 nak nangis gitu. aikkk pelik. belum pernah sepanjang sejarah fahmi bersekolah dia tarik muka monyok or menangis. he's been to tumble tots when he was 3, followed by smart reader at 4, then to little caliph early this year. despite kes dia jatuh dan luka takde satu pun yang menyebabkan dia monyok or menangis. except this time around. he asked me if he can go to other school sebab dia rasa tak seronok kat sekolah baru ni.

i spend almost 1/2 hour malam tadi memujuk dia bagitau apa masalah dia kat school. he keep on saying 'tak tahu' je manjang. i tried to feed some answer but he confirm none. bila tanya teacher marah, dia kata tak, bila tanya ada orang usik ke pun dia kata tak. then i asked him apa nama kawan dia, dia jawab tak tahu. i'm a bit puzzled there sebab dia selalunya cepat dapat nama kawan. bila tanya nama teacher pun dia tak tau. i suspected that kemungkinan it is due to the fact that he haven't made any new friends pasal tu dia tak tau nama kawan. dan pasal nama teacher pula, aku suspect because dia tak berminat masa kat sekolah that's why dia tak bother pasal nama teacher.

you see, with my boy the fastest way for me to know or guess if there's something wrong kat sekolah is by asking this 2 question yang i mention above. dan ternyatalah betul telahan aku. coz after 1/2 hour he finally open up and told me that dia sebenarnya takde kawan because it seems like semua orang dah ada kawan dan nobody nak berkawan dengan dia. he told me that he cry at school hampir setiap hari sejak last week. and i thought that it was only that once!

he feels rejected by his peers at school. there's even one time when the indian boy yang duduk sebelah dia suruh dia ke tepi. he told me bila budak tu cakap macam tu dia terus rasa nak menangis and he spent his morning break at school crying at one corner and refused to eat. it is so unlike fahmi. i didn't know that he would ever feel rejected, i didn't expect that shifting to a new school akan buat dia rasa insecure. masa kat smart reader dulu he started much much later tapi masa boleh adapt. that's why i didn't expect there'd be any problem at all. by the time he finished bercerita, muka dia basah berjeruk2 dengan air mata.

i decided that i have to have a word with the teacher. you see bukannya aku nak manjakan anak aku, but i feel that it is my responsibility that whenever i leave him in a place he'd feel safe. kalau tak, then i've failed. bukan nak manjakan dia but i want him to like going to school. kalau sampai tahap dia tak nak pergi sekolah then i have to do something about it kan?

so, i ask the teacher to help out; not to give extra attention coz i don't want him dimanjakan but i asked the teacher to help break the ice, tolong get him to mix around, make some friends so that he wouldn't feel rejected. coz dia kata dia bila kawan2 keluar dari kelas semua orang ada kawan dan tinggal dia seorang dalam kelas. oh man... ada juga rasa nak jerit kat fahmi coz rasa malu when he acted sissy about it. it is soo not like him!

i'm grateful that the teacher and principal ambil berat. teacher sherry kata semalam dia memang dah mula bagi extra attention kat fahmi. i told her jangan, i don't want him jadi burden pulak, all you have to do is help him to make friends. other than that dia takde masalah dalam pembelajaran.

pheww! ni baru anak lelaki... all this while i have so much confidence in him and i was so worried about yaya. it turns out the other way round this time.